and this needs to stop!

So another gay teen has commit suicide.

Gay teens are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers, and almost one third of completed suicides are related to issues of sexual identity. And those are just a couple of the troubling statistics you can read if you click the above link. And this needs to stop.

Every time this happens we all have the obligatory moment of silence, and say how awful this problem is, and then we go back to our lives. But this will never change unless we start holding people accountable. And by that I mean a couple of things.

First, every time this happens we need to challenge all the people who were involved in telling these kids and young adults that they are not important, or not worthy to live. I'm not saying every bully should be charged with hate crimes, but people need to be made to feel responsible for the consequences of their actions.

However, kids will be kids, and are only a symptom of a more subtle problem. So, Second, we all need to admit our own part in repeating this cycle of abuse. It is easy to point at the religious leaders, and fundamentalist Christians and say that they are responsible for this. And that isn't wrong. Every time one of them says that tolerating homosexuality is damaging to families or the fabric of society it gives students consent to bully LGBT youth by setting them up as "the bad guy".

But we need to recognize that we also give our consent when we choose to stay silent.

That is true for straight people and us queer people. Every time we hear someone make a homophobic comment and we let it slide, we contribute to the problem. Every time we hear someone use the word gay as a synonym for stupid without calling them out on it we contribute. By choosing to stay silent as if our orientation is some sick secret we should be ashamed of, we contribute. It is for that reason that I applaud those who get involved with groups like the It Gets Better project.

I found out today that more people are realizing that I am gay than I thought. I have heard of a few people who have heard rumours about me, and contacted family or friends to find out if it is true, including my old bishop. No one has contacted me though, perhaps they think they are being sensitive by not asking me, but it actually ticks me off.

When I found out about the rumours I was upset. Mostly because I know the people whispering about me are attaching all sorts of negative connotations to the news, and that ticks me off. But I have decided to let that go. I won't behave as if this is something I should be ashamed of. Because it isn't. And letting other people see me squirm around the issue only validates their bigoted opinions.

And while it can be painful for us to stand tall, and be out and proud, if doing so, if being one more positive role model can help prevent even one teen struggling with their sexual identity from killing themself, then any pain of coming out publicly will be worth it.

Maybe I will make an "It Gets Better" video.

PS. I got tumblr. You can find me here.