I did it. I finally met with my Bishop. I had been putting it off ever since I got a new one a few months ago, and I am glad that I finally got around to it. I kept wanting to have been sober a little longer before I talked to him, so I could walk in with good news. My last bishop always asked when the last time I had slipped up was, and the answer was never what I wanted to invariably I felt shameful and embarrassed when I went to see him. My new bishop is very different. He never asked when the last time was, and I was glad since it was the day before. He didn't try to push me to change, and tell me that I need to hurry and put this behind me, like my last Bishop did. He told me that it took me a long time to get to this place in my life. I have been struggling with addiction for eight years. It's also going to take a while to get out. He told me that I am not going to be able to change overnight, but I need to look for little victories, that even resisting just one time is a start.
I was so thankful for all the things he said. To feel his support instead of his judgement was a great blessing to me. I didn't tell him all the things I should have though, but I told him enough for now. I will see him again in two weeks, and hopefully then I will be ready to tell him the rest, so I can keep moving forward. In light of what he said to me though I am going to list a few of the little victories I have already made...
Just going to see him felt like a huge victory
and I was able to stay in control today
and I am alone right now but I am in control, and getting my thoughts out.
I think things are going really good. Hopefully it stays this way for a little while.
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