My Name is Allen and I am Terrified...

I finished Step 4 months ago and I am struggling to push myself over the next line. Step 5 is about confessing to someone all the things you learned and wrote in step 4 and I am can't get over my fear of letting someone else in. I want to put this behind me, I can understand the value of this step, and I recognize that once I do it I can continue to progress but that intellectual understanding does not make this any easier.

I am LDS, more commonly known as Mormon. Our church sponsors a 12 step addiction recovery program that is adapted slightly from the original 12 step AA program. Step 5 is also includes confessing to God. This is done through my ward Bishop. Unfortunately my Bishop is a close family friend and that makes it that much harder. I made an appointment to meet with him tomorrow, but now I don't want to go through with it. I always feel good about meeting with him after my recovery meeting Tuesday, but by the time Sunday rolls around I have usually slipped in my abstinence, as well as lost my nerve to be honest. I am hoping I can push the appointment until next week, and maybe that will work better, but if it does't I may have to request doing it another day, perhaps Wednesday when I am still committed to my decision.

I was feeling good about talking to him yesterday, but then I gave in to my addiction, and today I all I feel is an overwhelming sense of shame. Well maybe next week...