... and I'm ready for a new direction.

This blog is not the same as when it started, and I am not the same person who started it. When I started it, I was a Mormon, who believed he was struggling from some sort of sexual addiction or deviation, because I liked porn, and even worse, I liked gay porn. Since I have started this blog I have slowly come to terms with the fact that there is nothing wrong with me. I am who I am. And a part of that is being gay. I have left the church behind me. Now I'm an atheist. Except I'm not out, and I live with my very religious parents,so I keep pretending. Keep on going to church, and doing the other things that will make them happy, all the while depriving myself of the things I want. But hopefully, soon I will move out, then everything will change.

Because I don't want to do this anymore. I am ready to come out. I want to see who my true friends are, and who was just pretending. I want to see who in my family loves me, and who loves the person I was pretending to be. I want to see who in the church accepts me, and who tries to Save me.

But mostly, I just want to start living for me. I have spent the last 23 years living for other people; my parents, people in my church, and doing things that make them happy, but make me miserable. I don't- I can't do that anymore.

So I am trying to find a way to move out. So I can finally be me. So when my family goes nuts, I am not reliant on them, and I can retreat to my own place and leave the madness behind me.